The reason that participated
In my case, according to the rule of the Official memorial service sponsored by Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, the War dead is grandfather of my father side.
Nevertheless, to my shame, I seldom have thought of the War itself as well as the grandfather's life. War is just a kind of story on History Textbook, and even for my grandfather, I had such an impression that he is also something like a man who historically existed.
Sudden death of my grand-mother triggered my decision to participate in the official memorial service in TARAWA islands.
My grandmother spent usual daily life to the day before last day.
In June, 2010, I received the information from my relatives that my grand-mother was struck down, and immediately went to the hospital, but early next morning, she passed away with no conscious recovered. As I am the first granddaughter, I was taken very good care by my grandmother. Bothe of us are very tough in character, but her presence is very important to me though we argue all the time whenever seeing each other. It was too sudden for me to accept her sudden pass-away in my mind, and I was stunned by her sudden death while chasing our good old memory with my grandmother. As it is too vivid to have her sudden death just my own memory in my life, I spent days with no idea on what I should do. On the day when we placed the ashes of the dead in the grave, while I was watching the name newly engraved on the tombstone, it, all of a sudden, recalled me what I talked with her on the last time when I saw her. That was happened just four days before she passed away.
Grand-mother quietly said to me,"Two years after I got married, we had a son (my father), and then 2 years afterward, my husband received a call to military service, and 2 years later, he was killed in the war with leaving myself and infant child."
She seldom talked about the death of her husband (my grand-father), but the above words she unexpectedly leaked to me. When I was child and listening to the TV program on air about the South Pacific War on or around the anniversary of the end of the war, I made a question to her, "is my grandfather dead here ?" , she denied with saying " Not here ! ", That is the only one time in my memory, she talked about her husband's death.
Again and again, young granddaughter questioned, but she only once replied, in my memory. I remembered, at that time, the name of its island was something similar to personal name, but I could not remember its name properly in the memory of young girl. " White-colored wooden Box was just brought in with no bone inside , but just photograph only found in. "," How silly it is ! " she mumbled , which I clearly remembered very well.
Now I guess that she does not want to speak out the name of its island where her husband was dead in the South Pacific Ocean war. She explained to me nothing more than that.
Sometimes, she told only such good old sweet memory with her husband as that " We walked along with putting on pixie hut in Christmas season while shaking hands with each other. "
When I recalled my last conversation with her, I wondered why I did not ask her "what my grandfather was". It was of my great regret that I did not do so. There might be something she would like to convey to me, I am still wondering. And when I was watching the name of grandfather engraved on the tombstone, I came to recognize that I did not know even his own date of birth indeed.
My father was just two years old when his father was called to military service, and he did not know what his father was. As grandmother is almost withdrawn out of her husband's relatives (probably due to the strong objection to her love marriage with grandfather by relatives originally), there is no one I can ask what my grandfather was. Now that grandmother passed away, there was nobody I can ask, nevertheless I have no idea even on the date of birth of my grandfather. I feel it too sad and very sorry about him.
He died at the age of 32 years old, engraved on tombstone, younger than I now, and said to be love marriage with grandmother, but only for 4 years he spent sweet life with loving young wife, and could not make sure to see their own son's growth.
I made up my mind in searching as detailed as possible on his life, and would like to know even proof of his own life as my own grand-father.
Such motivation had me order to apply for the Family registration copy for removal. There I found his name as householder and name of grandmother as well. By this time, I just lightly would like to know even his date of birth as well as the name of place where he died.
When I was looking at his name written on Family registration copy for removal, I felt something like a curious coincidence. The distance I felt very far away from my grandfather so far is just getting so close to me now, and came to feel very intimate in its relationship with him.
Both names of my grandmother and grandfather, as householder, were written on Family registration copy for removal, and I am, no doubt, related by blood with each other. He is now a man I can get at. I really felt so then. And the name of death place in battle, engraved on tombstone, was Gilbert Islands (now called as the Republic of Kiribati). Where is this island located? And What battle was held during the war time ? Something seemed to have driven me to research since then. I investigated through internet and sent for some books for further detailed research, and the more I research, the more I did regret that I did not want to know the situation of my grandfather's death during the battle. Not only my grandfather, but so many people died there during the so-called "Makin-Tarawa" battle. Fierce hell fight which we hardly describe in a single word of History was held. "Island of honorable Death fight to the last man."
As my grandmother is very curious about the things interesting and also hard-worker in reading books, I assume that she might know under what situation her husband (my grandfather) died there. She therefore hesitated to speak even name of the island. (Afterward when I was tidying relic left by grandmother, I happened to find the press clipping of its fierce battle, together with the world atlas where her husband's name was hand-written nearby its island, filed very carefully in good condition. Both of them are properly kept in my own hands as my memory.
While I was chasing the footprint of my grandfather, I happened to know that there was official memorial service tour sponsored by the Ministry of Health , Labor and Welfare, covering Gilbert Island, and available for application for 2010. And I came to know that grandson or granddaughter was allowed to participate from 2010, and still in time for its closing date.
The moment when I know this tour,I made up my mind. I may feel very regret if not going now.
I felt something like destiny in my heart.
In addition, in view of the back ground reason why grandson or granddaughter generation is allowed to participate from this year, I easily assume that only few bereaved family can participate and its number is getting less mainly due to very old age of bereaved family. Depending on its destination, it is taken a matter of course to be discontinued, isn't it? The number of participants to the official memorial service in Gilbert Island is just 15 members only. I was lucky enough to receive approval notice with safe though I was originally afraid of no higher priority of selection as granddaughter.
When I informed of this notice to a friend of mine, she said that there is something very meaningful when you made up mind suddenly in doing something unlikely. If my grandmother were still alive, she might have had strong objection to my decision to go to disgusting islands for her.
However, I came to feel that this might be led by my grandmother when I decided to participate. If she did not talk about the grandfather before she passed away, he should still remain a person on history for me. I assume that grandmother told me, "That is too bad". I also assume that she really wanted me to know where her husband was living to spend days over there and how he received the last day of death, I had such feeling at the bottom of my heart.
And I was also filled with such feel as that grandfather himself really wanted me to know and see his own evidence of life ,or living footprint there with my own eyes.
